Here We Are

Well deployment is here and has been here for a while I just never bothered to update about it. But yeah It's been going okay and I honestly wish it was going better. Just a lot of stuff to deal with and I wish so much thing would be easier but I know good and well they will never be anytime soon and that's just the sad part. Getting through this has taken a lot out of me and I feel like I've given up on myself so much even though I try so hard not to. I just really hope and pray things will smooth over. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Deployment Isn't My Day

Just struggling to get through the day and I finally broke down early this afternoon because of some things I was shocked by and no it was just finances that is really killing me. But I had to break down and tell him about it and that was the last thing I wanted him to hear from me. I guess I'm just pretty lonely and don't really have much to do, but I know that I better take advantage of that this weekend since I'll be super busy this week with work and the one class that I'll be taking. At times I feel like such a huge failure yet I'm still managing to get through this weekend a lot better than I ever imagined. I guess trying not to think about it has helped me because I've been through this and it will be short and sweet and I know things will be getting a lot better. I just need to give myself time and let things work themselves out. Even though I feel pretty low and just not focused I know that I'll eventually get back on my feet soon and make the best of it. I think a small nap will do me some justice or even a good read. I'm just avoiding the reading for my class. But I will read it soon and also here is my name tape bracelet that I'm loving. I'll put the link to wear I purchased it.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/NametapeBraceletsOorah

Deployment

Well it's about that time and boy does it suck. Were there and I'm not prepared at all. We had a very emotional goodbye and the roughest one I've had so far. But I know these days will fly by and be looking really good for me. I have a new job now and ready to get going on that tomorrow so wish me luck. I'm a bit nervous but hopefully I can do it and do it the right way. I have so much stuff to save for and do. I'm trying to only keep my focus on my class and work and my other half of me. I expect a phone call from him tonight so I guess this reading for my class will occupy my mind for the night until I get that phone call. I will be blogging and Youtube and etc. a lot more since I have a lot more time on my hands. I have a lot of reading to do tonight and I'm hoping to be able to get it done and make some progress. I need to start working out at the gym a lot more and get everything in order. Plus I have to make an early morning start to my day tomorrow. This deployment is going to be a lot rougher than usual and that means I have to get back into the groove of things that I honestly don't want to do. My parents are coming to visit and I'm no where looking forward to that at all. While my other half is gone is like the worst time for them to visit because they can and do make things worst. I'm hoping the weekend they come will fly by so fast and they don't bug me too much. Sadly I want to pick up more hours at work to avoid them and I know that sounds horrible but I enjoy my time away from everyone because it helps me to breath and just feel a lot better. These next couple of weeks or so will be the death of me and I hope and pray that I can make it through without a hitch.