Am I Prepared?

I am up early this morning with a lot of packing to do since I am moving. I have not been able to sleep and still trying to get myself together for the upcoming school year. Needless to say I still have to buy my textbooks and pay bills and prepare to move into my new place which we are super excited about. He won't be there until after I move in, but that's okay because I'm super excited. Now I'm sitting here wondering with the news I just received tonight, if I'm ready to begin my new chapter. I think I am and very excited. Feeling awful from this medication I'm taking I think it's time to lay down.

Feeling Low!

Ladies, if you are going through a rough time or really depressed please seek someone to speak with as in a professional. I am currently going through a really rough depression including anxiety and insomnia. It has completely taken over my entire life and I can barely focus, eat, sleep or even function at the minimal level. I am having the worst time trying to get myself and my whole life together. The insomnia started to happen a few days after the deployment and when he came back I thought with a week or two the insomnia would go away and things will readjust itself. I was absolutely wrong and things only became worst. I wish I would have identified the issues when I first had them and wouldn't have waited this long. He has been home for a very long time now and things are only increasingly becoming worst. I never want any one else to ever experience this or go through the things I had to deal with. Please get the help you need and make the best of your situation before it becomes to great to bear.

No Sleep

I am still awake right now and getting no sleep. I've been trying to sleep since 12:30am and I slept in until 3pm yesterday. My sleep pattern is so off, I just really don't know what to do at this point. Tomorrow my day will be filled with homework and then Monday is Independence Day, so hopefully I'll be able to figure everything out by then. I feel so exhausted and just sleep deprived. I wish I could sleep like normal and get my life back to the way it was and even better.

What I Have Become

Lately I've been feeling like my whole world is falling apart and I don't know what to do to get things back together. I feel so alone in this world full of people, I just want the best and above the world for myself and to give myself a better life and reach out to others. I'm listening to Carry You Home by James Blunt and I'm completely in love with this song even though it talks about death. It some how speaks to me in ways I can't describe. It feels great to hear this song and it makes me look over my life and my good and bad decisions. It's okay to strive for the greatest and the best even when most don't believe in you or look at you as if you'd just fall right through the cracks. I'm not here to prove anyone wrong or make a big scene over nothing. I'm trying my best to do the right thing and make my self a true life for Christ. I'm in no way shape or form a perfect. Life goes on, time to live it, embrace, and love it.

It's Okay

Well lately I have had to learn some true life lessons over the past two weeks and I will never forge them. Deployment is over and my love came home, I did everything wrong there is to do. I pulled myself away from him and started to go in another direction. After a few nights of talking he had noticed that I had changed and wasn't acting my usual self. Finally I broke down and told him that all the times he has been away and came home I always felt as if he did not want me around or needed the time to himself. Huge mistake! He needed me more than anything to be there for him, talk to him, and comfort him in his times of needs and struggles. We talked extensively about the issues and finally was able to solve the problem. I was so fearful to discuss my feelings that I kept them hidden and out of reach. I realized that it was okay to feel the way I felt and I should have come to him and let that be known. We are getting ready for a move in less than two months and here I am trying to do everything on my own and figure every little thing out, but I let my pride get in the way. I have been the shown the way and that it's okay to not have everything in life figured out. There is nothing wrong with learning new things on a daily basis and letting God guide the way for you. I hope my lessons learned with bring a lifetime of joy. 

Sick and Not Liking It

So I have not blogged in so long it's actually pretty sad. I am currently sick with an infection and trying to get better. I've been really tired and in pain so blogging and any other activity is not on my list today at all. I'm actually headed out to the pharmacy to go and grab some medication for my day and hopefully getting some much needed rest and feeling a lot better. I will hopefully be back and on top of things when all is well with me. God Bless.

I'm Back!!!

Well it's finally over. This deployment is behind me and I couldn't be any more happier but it also showed me my strengths and weaknesses.  I have not been blogging regularly due to work and school and my man being home so it's been a world wind. We are set to move and I'm trying to get everything together for that, plus I'm working on his homecoming project and his gifts. Just so happen the other half I needed was locked up back in SC so I was not able to finish it before he came home. I know it's super late, but I've been having the worst jaw pain and feeling very tired. I have to work tomorrow, on top of school work and having everything together for this weekend. I plan on doing some shopping and getting everything together. I'm going to go ahead and call it a night. I also have a tumblr and I will leave the link below for anyone to check out. Let me know if anyone needs anything or what is going on. I'm still here and will be back on track soon. God Bless.
http://ajustsituation.tumblr.com/