Too Much to Handle

Things have been going ok over the summer though there has been some glitches.I'll be having another surgery done no job because of my health status, new boyfriend, no friends and no clue as to how the hell I will survive my senoir year of high school and classes at tech. I'm so scared and sick to my stomach to even fathem the first day of school. I've left some bitter tracks behind and I just want to make it to graduation without a hitch and someone breathing down my back about whatever they can think of. I'm just starting to feel anxious and tired and just like plain dirt being untouched by its surroundings. I love my boyfriend by a long shot he means the absolute world to me and without him I have no idea how I made it through. I'm so scarred to ask for help or to really tell someone what is really going on. No one knows the real me except for my parents and boyfriend. I don't keep close friends at all. I always keep them at a distance i'm just so scarred of being hurt and torn down to the point where I can no longer function. I've been greatly considering changing schools maybe to a small private school to try and start over but keep a low profile. I hate public school and never really had a passion for it at all. It's like this either your dumb or smart, in or out, ugly or pretty, nice or mean, and just never in between. I want to be able to walk into school without being labeled on or the other as seen as this snobbish kid of which I am not. If people tried to get to know me they would be surprised as to how I conduct myself and set apart from others. I'm in no mood for drama or the usual run your mouth scenario. It's good to vent sometimes but i've really learned a lot about society and how they will use every and anything against you to bring you down. I have no idea how I even got through. Maybe just need to relax.