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Lately i'm not sure what to do with myself. I've been sick and just not taking care of myself like i'm suppose to. I stopped eating and just tried to loose weight. Probably not the best idea in the world but I really didn't want to be fat and disgusting. I finally got pretty sick and ended up in the emergency room and Friday ill be in for a check up. I pray to God I wont have to draw any blood and that i'll be just fine. I'm a bit scarred about going just really need some reassurance. With my special someone not here it makes it tough to continue on and make sure i'm okay. I'm just not doing my part at all and really wished I was. I need a relaxing vacation and hopefully when he gets home we can have that. I really need to get away and just breathe for a good minute. Everyone is just bitchy and have their mood swings with me and it aggravates the hell out of me. I mean seriously it's like no one can get their act together. I swear this is not soap net channel with drama every hour on the hour. It aggravates the hell out of me and I mean literally. I'm sitting here sick, cold, nauseated, and a massive headache. I just want some peace in and out. That really isn't much to ask for but some people love to take the high road in live and not bother to pay attention to anything around them. It's so funny how everyone never cares for anyone but themselves.Then when we do take the time out to reach to others we're in awe of what the wonders of life can do for us. I just wished people wouldn't be so selfish and yes I do say that I can be the same way in some aspects of life. I'm not perfect nor am I trying to slander anyone but just speaking my own opinion and the cold hard truth. I'm just trying to get through the life God has blessed me with and a wonderful man to share it with. I love being in the south and wouldn't change it for the world. I'm a southern belle at heart and I really don't understand much but I'm really intelligent in some areas of life. I just hope and pray that life will teach others what the true meaning of taking a breathe is. I have a heart of gold for the good Lord and i'm glad he has my life in his hands. I'm going through this transition phase now of leaving for school and getting my ducks in a row so my mother speaks. I love to work and work hard. I'm just going through a rough patch in life and just really need my other half. Life isn't guaranteed and I just want to make the best of what I have at the moment. I'm proud of myself at times and yet disappointed at the others where I screw up. I just want to let go of my past and continue with the future I have waiting for me with open arms. I have no idea what it has in store. I just want the good times to come and stay and the bad times to only be short lived and temporary. Thank God for the faith I have in myself to continue on with life no matter the obstacles in front of me. I've made it this far and will continue to keep my best foot forward.