Too Much

This is seriously beggining to be too much for me these past couple of weeks. People at my job won't let it go and keep bringing it up though i'm determined not to let it bother me but it does sometimes. Everywhere I turn you're always there and I just keep running from you but somehow you're still there. When I want so bad to let go and make the best of life things. My understanding is that people will do anything to see me fall and I won't let that happen. It feels as if you're with me all the time just like you never left me and things weren't so akward. I'm trying so hard to really step up and do what I have to do but it's funny how you haven't left my life just yet. Sometimes I wished things were played out so much more differently and you jsut weren't there. But you know God has a purpose and reason for everything and that is just what I have to figure out. Normally I don't have dreams but lately you've always managed to pop in there somewhere just casually and it just confuses me even more than what I was actually thinking. Can life really throw you a football for the touchdown and you go through hardships to get there or are you just untouched? It kills to see myself the way I am and I am definantly open for change and to make myself better. I guess you can say deep down I know he is still there and never left me no matter what. Ok just maybe.lol.