The Struggle

Right now I really have to pee but I am way too lazy to get up and do so, I know what your thinking. Right now i'm just going through a lot of turmoil and ideas running through my head. I want to be productive but just can't. I want to be honest but I never am with myself or anyone for that matter. I'm starting to worry and become not myself. I have my reasons why and I just really need to let them go but somehow I feel as if I need a real person to talk to me at this point. I'm ready to move on and handle the situation but i'm not exactly sure the issues is ready to handle me. Anthony keeps telling me how strong and a fighter i am. I'm not exactly sure if I can even believe his words myself. He tells me he loves me and I still have my doubts. Have I mentioned that we are suppose to be married soon?! Yeah I know it's weird isn't it. I'm just trying to keep my composure which obviously hasn't last long at all because i'm sleeping past 10am every morning. i'm only half way packed and yeah I leave next week to move. I haven't even finished my shopping nor have I gone clothes shopping either. I'm just a mess right now at this point and i'm just losing my mind. I just need to clean up my room today and keep packing to keep busy because I swear if I lay here any longer i'm really going to start losing everything. Now off to pee because obviously I can't hold it any longer.